6 Steps to Help You Make Up Your Mind to Change

Hey, hey, hey, I’m back!

I must say, I have missed writing for you. I have also missed all of you who have been supporting me through this whole journey. To you, I say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My little hiatus gave me a chance to reflect and gain clarity about some of the things I truly want.

As I searched for answers, I found new hope and new strength. I realized what was missing from my life was my book (my baby). I had neglected it, which was causing me to feel empty. If you can imagine it being like a child, I had put it in the closet, locked the door, and threw away the key. I wouldn’t do that to a real child, so why was I treating my book (my baby) like that.

What was I thinking?

How did I get there?

All the time while I was inspiring and empowering others to follow their dreams, I was losing focus on my dream to be an author. My life-long dream.

I had to pivot. I had to put things into perspective in my life. Only then was I ignited to pick up my book, and jumpstart my passion to continue editing my fiction novel.

Boy, was I happy! Once I started, I could feel the warmth flow through my body. My heart raced with excitement and my mind found new energy, the same kind I have for my blog.

It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made outside of getting married, having kids, owning my own business, starting my blog, and giving my life to Christ.

There are times in each of our lives when we have to pivot, to take a timeout for what I refer to as the 4 R’s (Rest, Re-evaluate, Reinvent, and Recover).

Whenever you step back, you allow yourself to re-evaluate your intentions and desires. So many times, we can find ourselves going in the wrong direction or doing things that don’t stimulate us… mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally, which can often lead to being unhappy or unsatisfied. I know that’s not a life you want; especially, if it’s within your control to change it.

With that clarity for myself, I was able to acknowledge just how important finishing my book is to me. So, I made the decision to devote some time each day to finishing it.

My plea for you is that you stay true to the things in your life that make you happy, and everything else, remove it from your space and mind. Life is too short, so you owe it to yourself to thrive and to “BE” the desires of your heart.

Not to mention, so many of us are afraid to admit we want or need to change, or we care too much about what others think, how others will respond to us, and what others will say.

My response to that is, and never forget it, you are allowed to change your mind. You owe no one an explanation for following your heart.

With that said, I have come up with 6 things to help you with making up your mind when you want to change.


Anytime you are contemplating a change in your life, I would highly suggest you take a breather and rest first. You need time to meditate and connect with a source outside of yourself to gain clarity. When going into a restful state, you can escape from the noise of life, the opinions of others, and the negative vibrations that take grasp of so many of us, which disrupt our thinking, our lives, and our connection to a higher being. When letting go of your limiting beliefs and expectations, you are able to go into the realm of your mind where positive energy flows that can bring new possibilities, new hope, and the fortitude and power to free yourself from your inhibitions. You my dear are now ready for the next stage.


It is not a bad thing to re-evaluate your direction, purpose or cause when you find yourself in an “unloved” or confusing place in your life. In fact, it is a must. So many people forget about themselves in life to live what others expect them to do or be, creating a hole of being stuck or unsatisfied.

So, in this stage, I want you to know it brings new focus, new vision, and new plans that you can prepare to set into action. In this stage, you become empowered to do what’s necessary, to learn what it will take to change, to grow in your wisdom and passion, and to realize what it is that you really want.

We should all seek to find that happy place in our lives as we live out our journeys. We are all human, and it is our human nature to sometimes get tired, lose interest, or simply change our minds; and that’s okay, but what we must realize is when we make a decision to change, it requires a shift in our thinking, actions, and intentions that we must be open to receive. As long as we are willing to make the adjustments necessary and to do the work, we have the right to change. I repeat, you have the right to change.

For all those who have re-evaluated their lives and who are living their best life as they follow their life’s purpose, passion, and path. I say kudos to you. And I wish you the best as you continue to stay your course and shine.


Nothing will effectively change if you don’t give yourself permission to change. You have to be willing to release the restrictions you’ve placed on yourself, and to step out of your own boundaries and limitations. The worst place to be in is to be afraid to say “Yes” to yourself.

When you can’t say yes to yourself, you keep yourself immobilized and in a place of dissatisfaction and unfulfillment. Imagine, always living your life in a place of wishing for something different or better to happen, but it never does because you failed to give yourself permission to make it happen.

Now is the time! Take charge of your life, let go and free yourself to “be and live” the desires of your heart. Let go and say “Yes” to you. You owe yourself that much!


This feeling right here can be detrimental to every dream you set out to accomplish, and to every move in your life you want to make. Guilt parks itself in your heart and mind hoping that you give into it and believe its power. And yes, its power is real. In guilt, you will find fear, doubt, and trickery. This is the place where negativity lurks. YOU MUST RID YOURSELF OF THIS FEELING if you want change. If not, you will always find yourself, hoping, wishing, or dreaming about what you should have or could have done. In fact, you must release the guilt to acquire the things you want that can give you a better life and bring happiness. Trust me, it’s okay! You deserve it. You would be surprised to find out how many people would feel guilty for having more.


Get ready, you may not recognize the person you have become or the space you’re in now. You may have to learn new things. Your comfort zone may have been shattered, but don’t worry, you wanted this remember… Change.

Don’t fret. Now is the time to acknowledge and step into it. You were built for this. Remember, it’s the change you hoped for. Lean into it.

And never forget, if you find yourself struggling again, start back at number one.


After you step into your new reality, there will be a recovery period. During the recovery, all the highs will level out. You will find out new things you didn’t know about yourself. You will gain power in knowing that you followed your heart to do or change what you wanted, and you had what it took to make it happen; and because of it, it made you stronger. So, recover with grace and gratitude because you worked for it, and you earned it. Now, let go and enjoy your newfound changes.

Be proud of yourself! You acknowledged, you tackled, and you conquered.

Bravo to you!

         Article Written by: Debbie Stokes

      ⇒⇒ To be featured or to be a guest blogger contact: Debbie3wv@gmail.com

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Photo credits:
Permission pic –  Photo by Mehrpouya H on Unsplash
You Got This pic – Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash
She Believed She Could So She Did pic – Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash